


I'm Living on the Air -- Temporally, but Temporarily -- in Cincinnati, Cincinnati WKRP

by Tallulah_Rasa



Series: Crossing Streams [6]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), WKRP in Cincinnati
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 11:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2108535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tallulah_Rasa/pseuds/Tallulah_Rasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki sends the Avengers back in time.  They end up at a radio station in Cincinnati.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Living on the Air -- Temporally, but Temporarily -- in Cincinnati, Cincinnati WKRP

**Author's Note:**

> Recently, a radio station in my area petitioned to use the call letters "WKRP." Now, back in the 70's, there was a TV show about a small, struggling radio station in Ohio called "WKRP in Cincinnati". The show was probably best known for an episode in which the station, in an attempt to stage a Thanksgiving promotion, dropped live turkeys on Cincinnati. ("As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!") This perhaps explains why, after I heard the news, I began planning where to hide over Thanksgiving. It doesn't explain why, after that, I started imagining WKRP's news anchor, Les Nessman, covering the Chitauri invasion of New York, but probably nothing can explain that. Unfortunately, the timelines don't match, but, like the WKRP theme song, I couldn't get the general idea out of my head. 
> 
> In case you need background info on "WKRP in Cincinnati": The station is owned by the ruthless Mrs. Carlson, and nominally run by her sweet, decent, bumbling, middle-aged son, Arthur. The real brains behind the operation is receptionist Jennifer (a blonde bombshell), though the new station manager, Andy Travis (think of Firefly's Mal, with less fighting and even more hair) is making some inroads. Just starting out in the radio business is sweet Bailey; the old-timer is newsman Les, who has a rather local focus, to say the least. The on-air talent includes soulful Venus Flytrap, and "Dr." Johnny Fever, who never got over the 60's.
> 
> Not making appearances here are Bruce Banner (I assume Loki avoids him when he can) and WKRP's Herb Tarlek, who was out on a sales call.

“So…you’re superheroes,” Johnny said, sounding not quite as dazed as he usually did.  “And you’re here from...from the future.”

“That’s right, Dr. Fever,” Steve said earnestly, clutching his shield.  “I know we must… _this_  must all look very strange, but I assure you I'm Captain America, and we’re known as the Avengers, and we’re on the side of good, and--”

“No,” Johnny interrupted.  “I mean, you came  _here_ ? To  _Cincinnati_?”

“Complain to Loki,” Clint muttered.  “Even the circus used to skirt this town.”

Venus leaned over to Johnny.  “Why aren’t you freaking out?” he asked, looking nervously around the room.  “The rest of us are—”

From somewhere behind them, Jennifer cleared her throat.

“Most of us are freaking out,” Venus corrected himself.

“Could we just--”  Andy started.

Johnny waved one hand.  “Oh, I have this hallucination all the time,” he said.  “Ever since Woodstock, you know?  Or—I think it was Woodstock.  Anyway, I--”

“Johnny,” Bailey interrupted from his other side.  She didn’t seem more nervous than usual, but then, she was usually pretty nervous.  “You’re not,” and here her voice dropped to a loud whisper, “stoned.”

“I should hope not!” Mr. Carlson erupted from the doorway of his office, where he certainly hadn't been hiding.  “I don’t care  _what_  Mother says, stoning is  _not_ a reasonable punishment, and in no way should be part of the modern world – or the modern workplace, which I’m proud to say is what I run right here, in the --”

“That’s wonderful, Mr. Carlson,” Jennifer broke in smoothly, moving from wherever she’d been to the center of the room.  “But I think we need to focus on the situation at hand.”

“Which is bizarre,” Venus observed.  “There’s no way anyone could take it in stride, or manage it, or --”

Jennifer gave him a look.

“Present company excepted,” Venus said.

“Jennifer!  You’re in my hallucination!” Johnny suddenly crowed.  “That’s new!”

“You’re not having a hallucination, Johnny,” Jennifer said firmly.

“Seriously?  Because that’s what my hallucinations  _always_  say,” Johnny said.

"I think we’re losing control here, Stark,” Steve said to Tony, who took off his mask and gauntlets, clanked over to Jennifer’s desk, assessed it carefully, and then settled himself on the edge.  
  
"I don't think we ever had it," Tony observed cheerfully, poking at Jennifer's phone and stapler before seizing on, and emptying, a plastic container of paperclips.   
  
Les barreled in just then, sporting a bow tie, several bandages and an air of righteous indignation.  "Andy, the station's off the air!"

Tony winced.   “Yeah, that’s probably our fault.”  He tapped his chest, and gestured toward Thor.  “Arc reactor, God of Thunder.  Also, there was magic.  So yeah, we probably fried your system.  Sorry.”  His eyes lit up.  “I bet if I took a look at it I could--”

Natasha shook her head.

“There’s a protocol for  _this_?” Tony said.  “Huh.  Wait, what could possibly happen if I fix their--”

Natasha raised one eyebrow.  Most of the WKRP staff took a step back.  Johnny, who’d been sitting, fell over.

“That bad, huh?” Tony said.  “Guess I’m not fixing it, then.”

“I’m sure you would have done an admirable job,” Jennifer said warmly.

“Seriously?” Clint groused, rolling his eyes.

“Andy, I _demand_ \--”  Les began.

“We have superheroes from the future here, Les,” Andy said, his usual calm demeanor – and his hair – becoming distinctly ruffled.  “We have a, a  _god--_ ”

“Probably an alien,” Johnny observed sagely from the floor.

"Right here in the office,” Andy continued doggedly.

“We just had the lobby redone,” Mr. Carlson said.

“It is indeed a most attractive and comfortable space,” Thor said.

“Jennifer did it,” Mr. Carlson said proudly.  “She’s really something.”

“I think we all noticed that,” Tony said.  “She actually reminds me of my--”

“People, could we--” Steve began, loudly.

“So I’m kind of  _busy_ , Les,” Andy finished.

Les gave him a look of pure outrage.  “And  _I_ ,” he said, “have a hog report to do.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Well, then, we’d better get out of here, so you can get back to…whatever,” Tony said, taking off the rest of his armor and piling it neatly by Johnny, who refused to look at it.  He turned to Jennifer.  “And you are…?”

“Jennifer,” Jennifer said.  “Jennifer Marlowe.  How can I help you?”

“I guess 'Salt' would have been too much of a coincidence...” Tony murmured, and then he shook his head, clearly changing gears. “I need a Phillips-head screwdriver, fifty-seven D batteries, a step-ladder, a bucket, some electrical tape, some heavy-duty fishing line—”

“I have that!” Mr. Carlson exclaimed.

“Isn’t that wonderful!” Jennifer said smoothly.  “Go on, Mr…?”

“Stark,” Tony said.

“Don’t you need to write this all down, Miss?” Steve asked.

“Oh, that’s cute!” Jennifer said, smiling at Steve.  She turned back to Tony.  “You were saying, Mr. Stark?”

“Fourteen cotton balls,” Tony said.  “A forty-foot extension cord – no, two.  A couple of 75 watt light bulbs, some cigarette papers--”

Johnny dug in his pocket and held out a jumbo pack.

“Thank you, Johnny,” Jennifer said, accepting it.  “You probably also want a flashlight and…six red pens?”

Tony grinned.  Everyone else looked alarmed, except for Bailey.

“I, uh,” Bailey said, raising her hand timidly.  “I know how to br—how to get into the janitor’s storeroom.  I think some of the things you need are there.”

“Excellent, Bailey!” Jennifer said.  “Why don’t you take Johnny, and see what you can find.  Venus can help Mr. Carlson with the fishing line--”

“That stuff is tricky,” Mr. Carlson said, nodding.

“And Les…Les can interview Captain America,” Jennifer finished.

“Why would I want to do  _that_ ?” Les asked plaintively.  “What does  _he_  know about hogs?”

Everyone looked toward Steve except Tony, who was carefully crafting a chain of paperclips.  

“Not much,” Steve said apologetically.

“Are they anything like bilgesnipe?” Thor aked.

Les sighed.  “I’ll do it,” he told Jennifer.  “But I don’t see how it qualifies as  _news._ ”

“That’s the spirit, Les,” Jennifer said.

“I’ll go get my tape recorder,” Les sighed, and he left the room, shoulders slumped.

“Maybe Clint and I should take a look outside and make sure nothing…else…followed us here,” Natasha said.

“Fifteen minutes,” Tony said, head down, as he threaded a rubber band and a broken pencil through a paper coffee cup.  “It’d be five, if I had access to JARVIS, but…”  He scribbled an equation on the back of a _While You Were Out_ notepad, frowned, made a correction, and then looked up.  “Luckily, Bruce is back in our time, and I can triangulate on his--”

“So, you have this in hand, then,” Andy said.  “I’m just gonna go and—”

He slipped through the door.

"His hair is most amazing,” Thor said after him.

“A comb!  Yes!  That’s it!  I’ll need a comb!” Tony announced.

“Any particular size or color?” Jennifer asked, opening her top desk drawer.

“Whatever you’ve got will be fine.”

Jennifer handed Tony a 12-inch pearl-handled comb, studded with what appeared to be diamond chips.  “Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

Tony did a slight double-take.  “Well…I could use a bag of M&Ms,” he said.

“Plain or peanut?”

“Surprise me.”

Jennifer tilted her head. “Well, what are they for?”

“I’m hungry,” Tony admitted.

“Of course,” Jennifer said.  “Well, if that’s it…”

“Regrettably, it is,” Tony said.

“Then, thank you, Mr. Stark.”

Tony poked at the coffee cup contraption with the paper clips, and there was a small -- a very small -- explosion.  

Steve sighed.

Jennifer beamed.  

Tony grinned. "Oh, no. Thank  _you_ , Miss Marlowe.”

END

 

**Author's Note:**

> Clint's cranky because he _really_ doesn't like running into Loki. And I don't think Jennifer knows what Tony, needs, really. She just knows how to play to a crowd (and a billionaire).


End file.
